Maple Leaf Land Shark

Jonathan Trager, prominent television producer for ESPN, died last night from complications of losing his soul mate and his fiancee. He was 35 years old. Soft-spoken and obsessive, Trager never looked the part of a hopeless romantic. But, in the final days of his life, he revealed an unknown side of his psyche. This hidden quasi-Jungian persona surfaced during the Agatha Christie-like pursuit of his long reputed soul mate, a woman whom he only spent a few precious hours with. Sadly, the protracted search ended late Saturday night in complete and utter failure. Yet even in certain defeat, the courageous Trager secretly clung to the belief that life is not merely a series of meaningless accidents or coincidences. Uh-uh. But rather, its a tapestry of events that culminate in an exquisite, sublime plan. Asked about the loss of his dear friend, Dean Kansky, the Pulitzer Prize-winning author and executive editor of the New York Times, described Jonathan as a changed man in the last days of his life. “Things were clearer for him,” Kansky noted. Ultimately Jonathan concluded that if we are to live life in harmony with the universe, we must all possess a powerful faith in what the ancients used to call “fatum”, what we currently refer to as destiny.

— Serendipity (2001)

• Miles: Where do you live?
• Buck: In the city.
• Miles: You have a house?
• Buck: Apartment.
• Miles: Own or rent?
• Buck: Rent.
• Miles: What do you do for a living?
• Buck: Lots of things.
• Miles: Where's your office?
• Buck: I don't have one.
• Miles: How come?
• Buck: I don't need one.
• Miles: Where's your wife?
• Buck: Don't have one.
• Miles: How come?
• Buck: It's a long story.
• Miles: You have kids?
• Buck: No I don't.
• Miles: How come?
• Buck: It's an even longer story.
• Miles: Are you my Dad's brother?
• Buck: What's your record for consecutive questions asked?
• Miles: 38.
• Buck: I'm your Dad's brother alright.
• Miles: You have much more hair in your nose than my Dad.
• Buck: How nice of you to notice.
• Miles: I'm a kid - that's my job.

• Andrew Clark: My god, are we going to be like our parents?
• Claire Standish: Not me. Ever.
• Allison Reynolds: It's unavoidable, it just happens.
• Claire Standish: What happens?
• Allison Reynolds: When you grow up, your heart dies.
• John Bender: Who cares?
• Allison Reynolds: I care.

We had planned to spend a week in Orlando in mid-April; I will be attending the NiUG spring conference and figured since I’d be there we’d turn it into a family vacation. I mean, what’s 3 extra flights, 5 more nights at the hotel, 4-5 days worth of park passes and another 20 or so meals (plus car rental, assorted knick-knacks, Mickey Mouse hats and roaming internet charges). The kids and Laura were going to spend a day or 2 at a Disney park while I canoodled with the NiUG/iMIS crowd, followed by 2 days at Universal Studios and then a day at the Magic Kingdom. The Disney stuff was just filler for the Harry Potter stuff at Universal (with the obligatory stop at the Simpsons ride). And since the conference is at the Disney Yacht Club we’d be at a nice hotel.

But no more. The cheap rate discount airline we booked (OK, I booked) our flights with has cancelled all flights through May 15th because they were unable to pay their fuel bill. And we all know that airlines that take 2 months off come back stronger than ever and ready to make hay while the sun shines, right? Not so much. That sounds like the perfect time to file for bankruptcy, abscond with the office chairs and get the hell out of dodge. Doesn’t matter anyway, May > April so even if they do throw their doors open and continue selling $79 flights from NY to FL it’s a little late. I don’t expect to see my money again - although according to Visa I’ll get a refund (“a temporary refund sir while we deal with the finances”) - and another $1800 for flights is a little too much. So no Mickey, no Harry and no Homer. Maybe another day.

The best part of things so far has been the email I got from them (it ended up in my spam folder).  It went something like:

Direct Air finds it necessary to suspend flight operation from Tuesday, March 13, 2012 until May 15, 2012. This decision was made to address operational matters. We are currently evaluating strategic alternatives for Direct Air.

Direct Air is committed to our passengers, employees, and the communities we serve.

Please check back to our website for more details.

Very Truly Yours,
Direct Air

If you look really closely you can see the words “we’re sorry”. Can’t you?

Ian Thorpe is hoping to complete a comeback by making the 2012 Australian Olympic swim team. I am not Ian Thorpe. If swimmers wore jock straps … you know the saying. I am not trying to be like Ian Thorpe, Ian Thorpe could swim while wearing a parachute and steel toed work boots and he’d still be kicking me in the face. Personally I hopes he makes it and leaves everyone (but the Canadians) in his wake, but that’s not looking very promising* at this time.

* If you’re not into clicking links on blog posts to read the ancillary articles, let me just say that the title of that press release is “Ian Thorpe’s goggles fell off, says coach”. And it made it all the way to Reuters. I hear TMZ has a crew on the way to see if the goggles were out late the night before with Michael Phelps.

I am however, trying (again) to be part of the competitive swimming world. This is (I counted) the 6th episode of “You Too Can Be a Swimmer!”.  In order:

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Laura sent me this image today, she wondered if it might be me. It’s not, but wouldn’t it be nice if it was? It reminded me of a Jimmy Buffett song: the protagonist in 12 Volt Man probably didn’t sit in an endless horizon pool, he would have been in a hammock. But the sentiment is there. There’s still (to me) nothing more peaceful than sitting at the edge of the water listening to the wind and the waves.

I never got a grip in penmanship
Could never make those small l’s flow
Seldom found the trick to arithmetic
Three plus two be faux pas
But ask for some palm trees
Or tales from the South Seas

I never had the clout to knock one out
But hitting was the name of my game
Standing on third as the coaches conferred
So close to my first claim to fame

Just give me the steal sign
And I’ll make home plate mine
And I just might turn some heads

Sometimes I may get a little drastic
Sometimes I just let my feelings show
Sometimes I may be a bit sarcastic
Most times that’s the way the story goes

Now I know this Joe down in Mexico
He went there to work on his tan
For years he’s been plugged into blenders and songs
They call him the Twelve Volt Man

He don’t need no charge card
Just give him a die-hard
And he’ll make sparks fly round your head
Or just ask for some palm trees
Or tales from the South Seas
And I’ll make sparks fly round your head
Round your head
In your head, In your head

Credits: Album - One Particular Harbour (1983), Written by - Jimmy Buffett  

• Me: Why the hell is IHOP trending in Toronto? The nearest IHOP is in Niagara Falls. Beginning to see cracks in the trending logic.
• Clark: Canadians are planning for their US vacations, IHOP is on the list of to dos!
• Me: Seeing #AngelinasLeg trending made more sense.
• Clark: If it was only one of her legs then she may have been the 'ihop' trending ...

I coached Jessica at White Oaks forever ago; she was a great “kid” back in the day and has grown up to be a beautiful young lady, and from what I read on Facebook a great mom.

Smiles Above - Jessica Withell

In honour of Jayce’s 5th Angelversary on April 18th, I have decided to create this page to help all the beautiful children who want nothing more than a chance to enjoy their childhood, and for the parents who want nothing more than a chance to see their babies smile.

http://support.operationsmile.org/site/TR?pg=fund&fr_id=1030&pxfid=19550#.T0xIsdGYbjI.facebook

Thanks!